TAMPA — In their biggest match of the season, a match it had to win to stay alive, with the pressure rising as high as the temperatures, how good was the Green Machine Sunday?
“I remember when me and Nini made it 5-5 in the first set, I looked over to see how the other lines were doing, and they were sitting there drinking daiquiris WATCHING US play,” said captain John Cotey. “I mean….THEY WERE DONE! AND WE WERE IN THE FIRST SET? WHAT THE HELL?”
By thoroughly thrashing Brandon at line 2 (a 6-1, 6-3 win by Shaun Cooley and Laura Baker) and obliterating them at line 3 (a 6-0, 6-1 win by Erik Hajek and Sharon Patterson), the Green Machine posted a dramatic 2-1 victory and moved into first place in the 7.0 mixed league.
The lone loss was at 1, where previously undefeated Cotey and Nini Torres dropped a 7-5, 7-6 heartbreaker.
But Cotey and Torres were emotionally distraught playing with a heavy heart after tragedy struck on court 6, where Hunter’s Green’s other team was playing Arbor Green.
Kara Hann, playing line 2, went up for an overhand smash and came down hard on her ankle. Her screams could be heard for miles, as birds fled from nearby trees and little children cried into their mother’s bosoms.
“I thought someone had been shot in the face,” said teammate Andy Ritter.
“I thought a bomb fell on her head,” said J.R. Daws.
“I just thought her husband James hit another ball into the net and she was letting him have it,” said John Slatniske.
But things were much more serious — Kara’s ankle was, medically speaking, muffed up.
As her friends sprinted to get towels of ice for her injury, James Hann immediately panicked, yelling to Whitney Daws for help.
“SOMEONE GRAB A TOWEL AND PUT IT UNDER HER!!! THAT’S A LULULEMON SKIRT!!!!!” he frantically called out.
As luck would have it, the line 3 player for Arbor Green was a veterinarian. But the injury was believed to be so serious, that as her teammates wiped away tears, he suggested “we probably need to put her down.”
But James stepped in and demanded a second opinion, as John Slatniske and J.R. Daws made a run for the TAC. The vet was adamant that he take Kara out to the shed behind Stadium Court and put her out of her misery because it is what he had learned in college.
But suddenly, Slatniske and Daws came careening around the corner out of nowhere at about 7 mph in a golf cart.
“DON’T PUT HER DOWN!” Daws shouted.
Slatniske helped shoo the vet away and drive Kara to safety. Hunter’s Green immediately billed his member account $22.50 ($29.99 minus his 25 percent off) for the cart rental.