LL Cool J said not to call it a comeback

TAMPA — According to HGGM sources, Lara Slatniske has returned to the court ahead of schedule to begin her comeback from major surgery.

Reached for comment, Slatniske denied the reports. “I was home baking,” she said. “I’ll be back when the doctor says.”

However, local paparazzi produced this photo that seems to disprove Slatniske’s denial. According to photographer Benini LiPanzio of the Italiano Presse, it was taken Friday morning at Hunter’s Green.


Lara Slatniske hits a forehand Friday morning.

Shown the photo, Slatniske continued to deny its existence. “I am following doctors orders,” she said.

Asked if he could verify the photo, husband John Slatniske — it has been reported he was on the other side of the net — glanced over at his wife. She gave him a stern look. He then started crying and ran from the room.


About johncotey

John was a sportswriter and columnist for the St. Petersburg/Tampa Bay Times for 25 years, before being pushed from the Titantic, and hopes all of you non-subscribers are happy reading your free news on the internets while his journalism brethren suffer. Not that he's not bitter or anything. His real true joys, however, are his wife, kids and tennis, though not necessarily in that order. Unless his wife is reading this. Then DEFINITELY in that order.
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2 Responses to LL Cool J said not to call it a comeback

  1. John Slatniske says:

    I have no comment.


  2. johncotey says:

    Don’t call it a comeback
    I been here for years
    Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear
    Makin the tears rain down like a MON-soon
    Listen to the bass go BOOM
    Explosion, overpowerin
    Over the competition, I’m towerin
    Wreckin shop, when I drop these lyrics that’ll make you call the cops
    Don’t you dare stare, you betta move
    Don’t ever compare
    Me to the rest that’ll all get sliced and diced
    Competition’s payin the price


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