Saddest. Post. Ever.`

Well folks, the 7.0 mixed season came to an end today at BSAC, as the Brandon Big Racquets finished the Green Machine off with two straight set victories at lines 2 and 3 to post a 2-1 victory and win the league championship. (We won line 1 a few weeks back before the rains kept postponing the completion of the match.)

Gotta give them credit, they played very well, looked relaxed and deserved to win. Even if that hurt my stomach writing it.

Brandon will advance to stupid sectionals at crappy Daytona Beach, which is fine, BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO GO ANYWAY YOU STUPID BEACH WITH SMELLY FISH AND SHARKNADO SHARKS AND BIKER GANGS WAITING TO RUN YOU OVER I HATE YOU DAYTONA BEACH I HOPE A COLLEGE STUDENT GETS DRUNK AND VOMITS ON YOUR TENNIS BAG.

(Ahhhh, that makes me feel better. You should try it.)

Great, fun season though. We were just one line away, just a few points, either in our first loss to Brandon, or our last one. It was just that darned close.

We were 7-2 on the season, and won more lines, games and sets than anyone.

Maybe we should do this again when the over-40 season starts. We’ll have to replace the youngsters (Erik Hajek and Shaun Cooley) but otherwise the whole crew could return. We’ll get Brandon then.

And I didn’t get a chance to thank everyone individually, but I truly appreciate the Hydro Flask you got me for a captain’s gift. Beer…errrr….I mean, water tastes so delicious and cold out of it. Unless I’m drinking it in Daytona Beach THEN IT TAKES LIKE WARM URINE BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT DAYTONA BEACH DOES TO DELICIOUS BEER YOU STUPID CITY WITH STUPID TENNIS LOOK OUT FOR A HURRICANE AND BREAK ALL YOUR STRINGS ON YOUR STUPID BIG GIANT SOLAR ECLIPSING RACQUETS.

(Seriously. Try it.)

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About johncotey

John was a sportswriter and columnist for the St. Petersburg/Tampa Bay Times for 25 years, before being pushed from the Titantic, and hopes all of you non-subscribers are happy reading your free news on the internets while his journalism brethren suffer. Not that he's not bitter or anything. His real true joys, however, are his wife, kids and tennis, though not necessarily in that order. Unless his wife is reading this. Then DEFINITELY in that order.
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One Response to Saddest. Post. Ever.`

  1. Andy Ritter says:

    So sorry to hear – I know you will get em next time!

    Like

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