Green Machine has no answer for Sectional Harassment

The Hunter’s Green Green Machine turned in one of the best sectional performances in recent club memory at the 18-over 3.5 event in Altamonte Springs over the weekend, but it wasn’t enough to produce any victories despite some close calls.

The Green Machine finished 0-4 for the weekend, but lost three matches by 3-2 scores.

“Great performance,” said captain John Cotey. “We were told we would be wiped out, but to lose 3-2 in our first three matches was better than what we expected. We went with eight players, had to call in Herbie Gabora from Tampa after an injury to Pat Rairigh, and I feel confident saying if we had a full squad we would have been 3-0 heading into Sunday. But the nine guys fought hard, playing four matches in 48 hours on hard courts in blazing heat. We aren’t that far away. See you at practice Monday at 8 a.m. sharp.”

The Green Machine lost 3-2 to Alachua on Friday, and dropped 3-2 decisions to Duval and Collier on Saturday before a 5-0 loss to Broward on Sunday. The last two matches were played with the scoring starting at 2-2 each set due to rain.

We had lots of bigtime performances. Shaun Cooley stepped up at singles and picked up a win, while also winning at doubles with Patrick Rairigh.

John Slatniske was 1-0 in singles and won twice at No.1 doubles with Cotey. Erik Hajek picked up a win at singles, Peter Groer took a 4-0 lead at No. 1 singles before falling, and he and Bob Schmidt almost pulled off a big upset in doubles against Collier.

J.R. Daws took a crack at No. 1 singles on Sunday and gave the team its best hope for a victory. Rairigh, who won at No. 2 doubles with Coolio, pulled a calf muscle in a doubles loss with Hajek and couldn’t play the last two matches, but Herb Gabora picked up the bat phone and drove over from Tampa to step in for two matches and played well.

Herbie also gave us our highlight of the weekend, rebuffing Slatniske’s offer of M&Ms by saying “No thanks, I’m not an adolescent.” Slatniske will never eat another bag of M&Ms again without wondering if, indeed, he is an adolescent. (FYI: He is.).

Good times.

Here’s some other highlights:




…and after.


Erik “Big Bear” Hajek serves it up Sunday afternoon.


The boys lining up to take on Collier.


Cotey lines up a forehand that: (a) Went into the net (b) Sailed wide (c) Bounced off back fence (d) Take your pick


Herb Gabora tried one of J.R.s hot wings. It did not go well.


Hajek takes his first sip of something that wasn’t beer Saturday night. Hot saki!


Patrick Rairigh, hours before he would pull a calf muscle. Which is ironic because the remains of the small calf he ate for dinner are on his plate.


In between Charlie’s smoke breaks, he and his partner lost to Slats and Cotey 6-4, 6-0. That’s the good news. The bad news is, we’re all getting coal in our stockings this year.


Slats decides it would be easier to put his ice cubes in his Gatorade bottle rather than putting the Gatorade in his ice cup.


This was the sign for DO NOT ENTER, I AM PRACTICING MY FOREHAND IF YOU GET MY DRIFT. (Name withheld).


What happens in Altamonte Springs, stays in Altamonte Springs.


About johncotey

John was a sportswriter and columnist for the St. Petersburg/Tampa Bay Times for 25 years, before being pushed from the Titantic, and hopes all of you non-subscribers are happy reading your free news on the internets while his journalism brethren suffer. Not that he's not bitter or anything. His real true joys, however, are his wife, kids and tennis, though not necessarily in that order. Unless his wife is reading this. Then DEFINITELY in that order.
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2 Responses to Green Machine has no answer for Sectional Harassment

  1. Nikki says:

    That’s awesome.


  2. Andy Ritter says:

    Hysterical pictures/captions. Thanks for the recap – sorry it was not a better conclusion to a great season.


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