Ouch.

tennis

Tennis is stupid!

The defending 18-over 3.5 champion Hunter’s Green suffered a lopsided 4-1 loss Saturday at Harbor Island, the worst loss in Green Machine history.

crytennisThe Machine was hampered by low numbers — Larry Palumbo, James Hann, Jimmy Dice, where are you? — and had to forfeit a line at No. 3 doubles, makings things even more difficult.

In matches that shall never be discussed again, (NAME WITHHELD) lost at No. 1 singles despite leading 7-5, 5-2.

FUN FACT: (NAME WITHHELD) was 2-0 lifetime, including a win at sectionals last year, in singles, and had never lost a set until Saturday’s match. Someone from Countryside, Escambia and Alachua will pay for Saturday’s collapse at 6.5 sectionals this coming week. Pay dearly.

At No. 2 singles, (NAME WITHHELD) lost in a (LOPSIDED SCORE THAT , SAY, A 4.0 MIGHT PUT ON A 2.5, WITHHELD) rout that left (NAME WITHHELD AGAIN) both stunned and (ADJECTIVE, RHYMES WITH HUMILIATED…WAIT, I MEAN, FUMILIATED).

FUN FACT: (NAME WITHHELD) was 7-1 in his last eight 3.5 singles matches until Saturday’s loss. However, (Name Withheld) and John Cotey did beat the guy that beat (Name Withheld) in the 4.0 doubles championship a few seasons back, and therefore has a very small fake crystal cube trophy. All the guy who won Saturday has is (Name Withheld)’s dignity and confidence.

crytennis2At No. 1 doubles, Bob Schmidt and Bob Fuller fell, but they were only using it to tune up for a Sunday match on Herb’s 85-over 3.5 team.

At No. 2 doubles, John Cotey stretched his doubles (combo, mixed, 3.5) winning streak to 12, and Patrick Rairigh remained undefeated in 13 doubles matches over the past three seasons with a stunning 6-7, 7-5, 10-3 win. Cotey-Rairigh trailed 6-7, 2-5 before a miracle comeback to avoid a 5-0 team loss.

FUN FACT: No match next week. It was rescheduled because 3.5 Green Machine players Cotey, Slatniske, Hajek, Jankes, Hann, Dice, Schmidt, Ritter and Rairigh will be in Daytona Beach winning the 6.5 combo sectional championship. 

 

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About johncotey

John was a sportswriter and columnist for the St. Petersburg/Tampa Bay Times for 25 years, before being pushed from the Titantic, and hopes all of you non-subscribers are happy reading your free news on the internets while his journalism brethren suffer. Not that he's not bitter or anything. His real true joys, however, are his wife, kids and tennis, though not necessarily in that order. Unless his wife is reading this. Then DEFINITELY in that order.
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