Green Machine Goodies!

FullSizeRender 19Starting the weekend recap with a limerick:

Once there was a girl named Cherie,
Who played mixed tennis with such glee;
She said 7.0? I would love to play,
Put me in the lineup any old day;
Then she played but had completely forgotten to register, winning her match with Erik 6-0, 6-3, but later having it show up as a loss because her team had to forfeit the line because she hadn’t signed up!!!!

Wait. That’s not how limericks go, is it? Let me try a haiku:

Cherie is her name
A strong forehand is her game
Then she played but had completely forgotten to register, winning her match with Erik 6-0, 6-3, but later having it show up as a loss because her team had to forfeit the line because she hadn’t signed up!!!!

Dammit, I keep losing my train of thought. Let me try a rap:

I like her forehand and I cannot lie,
You other brothers can’t deny,
That when Cherie hits the court but hasn’t signed up yet, then what’s the point in hitting the court and winning 6-0, 6-3 if it doesn’t count? I mean, who is N/A anyway?

Okay, forget it, I got nothing. But here is the good news:

FullSizeRender 12The 7.0 mixed Green Machine shut out beat BSAC 3-0 2-1 Sunday, as Richard and Nelci, Todd and Joy and Erik and Cherie all picked up straight set victories. The Green Machine is 2-0 now on the year. I will take full responsibility for Cherie not signing up. I am the captain and considering I never send e-mails or texts out to the team, how really was she to know? I need to improve my communication with my team, so that is on ME. I hear it all the time: “Man, has John died or something, I haven’t received an email about tennis from him in 37 minutes! Shouldn’t someone check on him?”

Therefore, I will be adding Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat to the Green Machine Social Media Empire, as well as embedding microchips on all my players so I can just buzz them when sign-ups roll around.

(Okay, I am now done harassing Cherie. All in good fun, people. You know I got notthing but love for y’all. Unless we lose the league by one line in a crazy tiebreaker or something. In that case, she is dead to me!)


(Not kidding. DEAD.)

By the way, here’s a great example of teamwork from today’s victory as Todd and Joy move in on a ball at the net:

Here’s a great example of not teamwork, where Richard comes flying to the net, scares the shit out of Nelci, leaps over her and pushes her to the ground with his left hand while hitting a winner with his right:
FullSizeRender 10

Anyhooo, The next Green Machine match won’t be until June 4 — if someone can remind Cherie June 3 to sign up, that would be great OH MY GOD I PROMISED I WAS DONE HARASSING HER I TAKE THAT BACK, BUT NOT BACK ENOUGH TO DELETE IT BUT JUST BACK ENOUGH TO SAY SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN IT!!!!! — when we host Arbor Greene. Due to Mother’s Day next weekend, our bye the weekend after that, and Memorial Day weekend, we get three weeks off. If you want to hook up for a Thursday practice or something, holler at me.

Green Morningstar

The Green Machine took it on the road this weekend, and won a trio of championships at the 30th Annual Morningstar Tournament at Carrollwood Country Club.

In 3.0 women’s doubles, Nikki “Spartacus” Spirakis and Janice “Slicey McSliceyAlot” Fisher won three matches and capped their title run with a 6-0, 6-1 win in Sunday’s final.


In the men’s 3.5 doubles, Larry Palombo kept it in house by capturing the title with partner Eddie Collins in dominating fashion, making it four straight years a team from Hunter’s Green has captured the 3.5 title without dropping a set all tournament. Larry and Eddie celebrated their win at Dunderbaks, as Eddie mulled over a three-year contract offer to join the Green Machine.IMG_0449

In men’s 4.0 doubles, the team of Cotey and Erik Hajek — last year’s 3.5 champs — moved up and put on a show for the kids. I don’t want to brag, but the Bash Brothers, as we are known in Asia, has a huge Asian following.

The Bash Bros. won their semifinal 6-3, 6-0, and then won the final 6-1, 6-2. And we did check — the opponents were USTA-rated 4.0s, so keep your wisecracks to yourself.


Here’s the champs, holding up the No. 1 sign, while a guy who won his consolation 4.0 mixed match holds up three fingers, for third place. Stephen Hunter, also in the picture, played 3.5 mixed doubles with Joy. He is holding up no fingers. Make of that what you will.


About johncotey

John was a sportswriter and columnist for the St. Petersburg/Tampa Bay Times for 25 years, before being pushed from the Titantic, and hopes all of you non-subscribers are happy reading your free news on the internets while his journalism brethren suffer. Not that he's not bitter or anything. His real true joys, however, are his wife, kids and tennis, though not necessarily in that order. Unless his wife is reading this. Then DEFINITELY in that order.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Green Machine Goodies!

  1. Georges Kaufman says:

    Hey, if you guys are really 4.0, does that mean the rest of us are really also a level higher?


  2. johncotey says:

    Yes! You would technically be a 3.9832


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s